dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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