These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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