I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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