My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
