The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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