so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
