Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
