We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
