My friends, they love my intelligence
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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