Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

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  (480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you. http://tfl.nu/te9w
  Replies (20) Good night (4622) Bad night (633)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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  (254): The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro" http://tfl.nu/wdu7
  Replies (12) Good night (799) Bad night (3091)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.

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  (317): We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us. http://tfl.nu/q48d
  Replies (7) Good night (5398) Bad night (648)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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  (803): If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now http://tfl.nu/b5gc
  Replies (9) Good night (1929) Bad night (3514)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.

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  (250): I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him. http://tfl.nu/wjhp
  Replies (16) Good night (5625) Bad night (862)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either

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  (281): Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either http://tfl.nu/fgrs
  Replies (6) Good night (1532) Bad night (752)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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  (709): I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her. http://tfl.nu/w26o
  Replies (10) Good night (2112) Bad night (1082)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.

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  (641): I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck. http://tfl.nu/aulp
  Replies (3) Good night (1471) Bad night (487)
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  (949): View more from California

  'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear

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  (949): 'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear http://tfl.nu/1b4e
  Replies (5) Good night (1349) Bad night (835)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (565)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.

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  (607): Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete. http://tfl.nu/hi8m
  Replies (3) Good night (1311) Bad night (531)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.

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  (224): Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please. http://tfl.nu/hx0x
  Replies (13) Good night (1333) Bad night (479)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.

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  (503): Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick. http://tfl.nu/mpmj
  Replies (9) Good night (665) Bad night (355)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college

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  (561): Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college http://tfl.nu/kc8a
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (272)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.

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  (410): I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life. http://tfl.nu/oenl
  Replies (1) Good night (194) Bad night (514)

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