i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
