honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
