ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  So how was last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Let's just say I danced with the devil

  (310): View more from California

  Huh?

  (1-310): View more from California

  I'm going to Hell for sure

  Fav 5 1645 827

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

  Fav 98 969 3421

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (714): View more from California

  He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

  Fav 63 2890 955

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

  Fav 10 3426 1010

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...

  Fav 17 6274 1537

  share tweet
  

• (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

  Fav 13 7350 1283

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (480): View more from Arizona

  You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.

  Fav 14 2089 1252

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

  (707): View more from California

  ...did you eat that brownie?

  Fav 2 2645 784

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.

  Fav 2 1297 714

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.

  Fav 4 873 664

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.

  Fav 2 762 523

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  At what part of the night did you guys leave?

  (406): View more from Montana

  After my hot tub cannonball.

  Fav 2 838 555

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."

  Fav 0 629 385

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE

  Fav 3 486 669

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor

  Fav 0 148 14

  share tweet
  

Randomize