I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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