i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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