Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
