I wish i was in the wii world.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...