Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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  (703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul
  Replies (13) Good night (1220) Bad night (594)
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  (858): View more from California

  I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

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  (858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win. http://tfl.nu/f8rt
  Replies (40) Good night (6095) Bad night (1251)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!

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  (703): I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww! http://tfl.nu/rzts
  Replies (89) Good night (1017) Bad night (13986)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

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  (905): My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me. http://tfl.nu/adnf
  Replies (16) Good night (1067) Bad night (4678)
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  (408): View more from California

  You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.

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  (408): You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree. http://tfl.nu/igom
  Replies (1) Good night (2313) Bad night (983)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You insisted on take shots off of plates.

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  (417): You insisted on take shots off of plates. http://tfl.nu/pa2s
  Replies (5) Good night (1823) Bad night (861)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.

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  (847): she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay. http://tfl.nu/cwvk
  Replies (4) Good night (849) Bad night (3108)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  (715): Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/f7ph
  Replies (8) Good night (2256) Bad night (985)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"

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  (765): You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?" http://tfl.nu/g1nx
  Replies (21) Good night (1532) Bad night (4146)
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  (805): View more from California

  It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese

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  (805): It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese http://tfl.nu/i0pz
  Replies (4) Good night (1104) Bad night (2098)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts

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  (641): you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts http://tfl.nu/ee07
  Replies (10) Good night (2590) Bad night (881)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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  (520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8
  Replies (8) Good night (971) Bad night (1810)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.

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  (913): I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched. http://tfl.nu/3b2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1292) Bad night (1590)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?

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  (412): my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush? http://tfl.nu/kyl4
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (493)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug

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  (248): My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug http://tfl.nu/ts87
  Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (349)

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