i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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