Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!

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  (413): no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo! http://tfl.nu/f58l
  Replies (4) Good night (1852) Bad night (2542)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light

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  (704): Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light http://tfl.nu/mxes
  Replies (8) Good night (1687) Bad night (432)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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  (614): I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on. http://tfl.nu/pnve
  Replies (11) Good night (524) Bad night (1959)
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  (213): View more from California

  he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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  (213): he quoted Bring It On. It's over. http://tfl.nu/r2ms
  Replies (10) Good night (785) Bad night (2500)
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  (310): View more from California

  So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?

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  (310): So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops? http://tfl.nu/jkax
  Replies (33) Good night (872) Bad night (3762)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open

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  (480): you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open http://tfl.nu/9jy5
  Replies (18) Good night (4745) Bad night (717)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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  (501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan. http://tfl.nu/8hd7
  Replies (10) Good night (789) Bad night (4910)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner

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  (908): His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life. (732): sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner http://tfl.nu/i1p0
  Replies (26) Good night (1314) Bad night (5565)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

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  (281): i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night. http://tfl.nu/0cve
  Replies (71) Good night (1477) Bad night (6221)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.

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  (360): Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why. http://tfl.nu/20py
  Replies (8) Good night (5581) Bad night (786)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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  (904): the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm http://tfl.nu/rl73
  Replies (10) Good night (2403) Bad night (1012)
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  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.

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  (805): I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1uws
  Replies (6) Good night (1155) Bad night (2475)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt

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  (504): my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt http://tfl.nu/h423
  Replies (25) Good night (893) Bad night (1272)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

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  (226): He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys http://tfl.nu/z52q
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (172)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.

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  (847): I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text. http://tfl.nu/zkwg
  Replies (6) Good night (511) Bad night (191)

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