I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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