Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good? http://tfl.nu/cjn1
  Replies (4) Good night (4212) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao
  Replies (29) Good night (748) Bad night (7586)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced. http://tfl.nu/90fx
  Replies (25) Good night (5522) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

  (315): View more from New York

  here comes the puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese (315): here comes the puke http://tfl.nu/32gj
  Replies (18) Good night (1182) Bad night (4531)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool. http://tfl.nu/gbzx
  Replies (16) Good night (6498) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him.. http://tfl.nu/3vco
  Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work. http://tfl.nu/y66t
  Replies (21) Good night (743) Bad night (2006)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer http://tfl.nu/lerj
  Replies (5) Good night (1343) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz
  Replies (2) Good night (1792) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No now I'm curious!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already (1-412): No now I'm curious! http://tfl.nu/td3j
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night. http://tfl.nu/8tyy
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Were you drinking last night?

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Were you drinking last night? (320): Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety. http://tfl.nu/r4i0
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area http://tfl.nu/q3t9
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/2e8m
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis http://tfl.nu/4x5t
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (255)

Randomize