At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
