Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY. http://tfl.nu/w16e

Replies (24) Good night (2698) Bad night (761)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm

Replies (24) Good night (6216) Bad night (570)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60

Replies (72) Good night (10106) Bad night (759)
Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): 2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind http://tfl.nu/af2w

Replies (20) Good night (716) Bad night (6211)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight http://tfl.nu/88wf

Replies (8) Good night (3592) Bad night (890)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc

Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (698)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE. http://tfl.nu/wm9f

Replies (25) Good night (3959) Bad night (1069)
Favorite
(856): View more from New Jersey

and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(856): and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her http://tfl.nu/d5zb

Replies (2) Good night (1626) Bad night (523)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u

Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (400)
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

(320): View more from Minnesota

No shame in my game.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7

Replies (4) Good night (1186) Bad night (454)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"

(1-416): View more from Toronto

You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?" (1-416): You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right? http://tfl.nu/2p2l

Replies (17) Good night (2637) Bad night (479)
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

(504): View more from Louisiana

Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

(318): View more from Louisiana

I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn

Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (897)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting. http://tfl.nu/zbal

Replies (6) Good night (800) Bad night (257)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/9e16

Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (203)
Favorite
(951): View more from California

Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick http://tfl.nu/e46p

Replies (6) Good night (235) Bad night (900)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: