IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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