If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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