My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize