if i died would you start the facebook group?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize