If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
