Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
