it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize