So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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