So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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