we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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