Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
