im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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