Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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