after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
