I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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