i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
