i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
