I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
