just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
