Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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