do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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