I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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