i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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