i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
