Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't turn off my feet"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
