Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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