When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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