Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
