They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
