areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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