i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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