nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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