Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
