I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
