just tell him i said nine months
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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