I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
