what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ketchup is God's man juice
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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