She is in my trunk
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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