Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
