I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
