just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
