i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize