i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
