New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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