I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
