dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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